Empaths Amongst Us

There is so much to this topic that I thought it was important to get a view from each of us.


My first truly notable experience as an empath {as opposed to just internalizing things with no recognition of what I was doing} came when I was sixteen years old. I was a member of my high school pompom squad, and believe me when I say, sixteen to eighteen year old girls can be Cut. Throat. The leader of the squad, shall we say a "high maintenance" and very popular {although goodness knows why} girl, began to nitpick another, younger member for kicking too high. The poor girl was a dancer and flexible to the max, she was just doing what came naturally to her. Two by two, the rest of the squad began to chime in against this poor, unsuspecting girl, and while at first she tried to defend herself, soon she recognized the futility of defense and just closed her mouth, her eyes growing wider and shinier. I was not one to speak up -- despite having the previously unrealized audacity to try out for the team, I was a major introvert -- but the longer this went on, the more uncomfortable I became. I was growing antsier by the minute. And before I knew it, I began to feel for her. Inside of myself. Like a deer being hunted by wild dogs, trying desperately to stay out of the way of the snapping teeth. Heart pounding, breath coming faster and faster. The next thing I knew, I was hyperventilating, I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't draw any in. Which, thankfully enough, drew enough attention that it stopped the attack on the other girl. Another girl pulled me away and made me walk with her down the hall. Oddly enough, shortly after leaving the others behind, I began to feel better.

At the time, I had never heard of empaths or empathery {my preferred term, and I likes it! :p }. I chalked it up to an anxiety attack {something I had had zero previous experience with} and went on with life, albeit with one more thing to make me feel "different."

By the time I did hear the term and began to think, "Hm, this kinda sorta sounds like me . . . but that can't be . . .", it was the late '90s and I had was deep in the throes of busy momhood, working full time, writing, raising 3-and-soon-to-be-4 boys. I scarcely had a moment to breathe, let alone investigate further. But my Guides decided enough was enough. The time had come to raise my awareness. And so I began to experience things more and more often, whereas before it had been random occurrences, oddities here and there. Enough that I could no longer chalk it up to coincidence or brush it off as imagination as easily as I could before.

And then someone whom I considered "in the know" about matters metaphysical, a cool chick I looked up to for many reasons, happened to mention in passing that empaths were the rarest of all the sensitives/intuitives in the world . . . and instantly my inner doubt struck up a duet with my low self-confidence. I couldn't be an empath, then. I wasn't special. I just knew I wasn't psychic, because I didn't have visions. Maybe I was just imagining things . . . and that made me feel even worse. I didn't want to be imagining things, putting on airs to make myself feel better! What the heck was wrong with me?

Lesson Number One: You alone know the details of your experience. Don't let anyone else create your reality for you. You are a creator. Step up to the plate and take responsibility for your life!

Even though my first instinct was to shove all of my experiences back into the darkest closet at the back of my mind and go on with life, making careful attempts to be as normal as possible . . . somehow I didn't. And even better, I allowed myself to study further, which allowed me to go on to discover even more about myself.

But it wasn't until I met Kristy and began tentatively comparing notes that I discovered that my dreams, as I had only recently allowed myself to consider might possibly be . . . gulp . . . spiritual contact, were definitely in fact . . . spiritual contact, and not just a personal weirdness.

Confidence, as you might have suspected, has been a major obstacle for me to overcome. I can laugh at that now, but I really have struggled with it over the years.

I've learned so much more in the last six years than I was able to hesitantly come to accept in all of the previous eight. Little by little, I am coming into my own. Slower than I would prefer, but I can be patient when I have to. The last two years took a toll on me, but I am beginning to come back into my own, mentally yes, but even more important to me, spiritually, and I am so thankful for that. Having come this far, I don't feel like myself when I am not dreaming and feeling. I have also discovered there is more to what I do than I considered before, which I have no doubt I'll be exploring soon.

Because now's the time, dearhearts. Now's the time for all sensitives, no matter what their level of experience, to step up to the plate and learn more about themselves, to see the world with new eyes. Don't you feel it? The call? The sense that something big is coming up? Something important? We all are.

Jen and Kristy have both talked about shielding, but just as important for any sensitive but especially for those with empathic tendencies is to learn how to release energy.

One thing that is so, so important is to be very aware of yourself and to learn how to release as you go through your day so that it doesn't build up, because it really is exhausting and can manifest into other physical symptoms, just like Kristy describes. Emotional tension is a big clue that you are holding on to too much. Simple things that help you to let go rather than hold on to emotional energy include anything that make you smile, laugh, breathe deeply, be at peace,feel love, etc. All the good stuff. Your aim is to let go of the negative and to feel your spirits lift.

Learn how to be physical again! So many of us, in our busy lives, forget how good we feel when we actually get out there and move! Walking every day in the great outdoors is so beneficial, and not just for burning off the day's indulgences. But even just going outside and sitting on your patio, feeling the sun pour down on you, the wind in the air, this will do so much. Any time I start to feel the tension build up, I step outside.

Remove toxic people from your routine as much as possible. You won't be able to fix them. They have a journey of self-discovery they need to make as well.

Hug someone! But make sure you're not transferring your stress. A mutual hug, deeply felt, also helps one ground.

Conjure an image in your mind's eye of someone you love. FEEL IT. Your love for them.

Be love, be light, in as many ways as possible. By paying attention to this, you will build it into your world around you. And with more and more of us consciously doing that, the larger world starts to change for the better, a piece at a time.

Love to all,


Mad {madly!}

P.S. No longer are empaths the rarest of all the sensitives/intuitives out there! The numbers are growing by leaps and bounds. I find that interesting . . . and fitting. This world needs a lot more love, don't you think?

Out of the Broom Closet . . .

So, here's the part where I tell you how awesomely strange and cool I am.

{Mad waits patiently for the laughter to subside...}

The plain truth is, I spent the first 35 years of my life mostly in the not-so-blissful state of Oblivion. Meaning, I spent my time being very, very normal. Doing terribly normal things, thinking terribly normal {well . . .-ish} thoughts, and denying as I had always been taught that ghosts and psychics and other such oddities were anything more than a wistful, wishful mind trying to pretend their realities away into something a little more interesting.

Denial is easy. More comforting, certainly. Believing came a little harder for me.

And yet . . . I was uneasy. The world I experienced didn't quite make sense to me, and the discrepancies kept nudging themselves into my awareness. I was always having to explain things away as "coincidence" or "just a dream" or "just being judgmental" when I instantly knew a person's overall aspect/tendency {Light or Dark, trustworthy or not trustworthy} upon meeting them, or always knew when a person was telling the truth or lying. It was just my imagination when I "just knew" a person's private motives behind what they were saying . . . or worse, had something terribly secret about them pop into my head as they were talking to me, something they were hiding. I always averted my attention from those thoughts, doing my best to pretend that it hadn't happened, that I didn't know. For the longest time, I convinced myself I was simply being judgmental, or nitpicky, or overly wary . . . but just as often the things I knew were positive things, pleasant things, and one fateful day I slowed down enough to realize that it wasn't all one-sided, so "judgmental" wasn't the right answer either. It was around that same time that, through casual conversations with a group of work cohorts, I also realized not everyone had the same kinds of dreams I had always had. It was something that never occurred to me.

That marked the beginning for me. The realization that I really was different -- just like I had feared so often when I was a teenager -- sparked a quest for answers as to why. Why did I experience these things? And that quest, in turn, set off a series of discoveries about other things I experienced that I had never considered weren't normal. The way I could see halos of light around people and animals and plants and trees. The way I could feel the energy of a place. The way I drew animals to me and knew what they were thinking, or the way children would single me out at a store and stare and smile. The way I could feel another person's sadness or turmoil or anger or joy, and not just sympathize with them, but actually feel it inside of myself as though it were my own emotion. Emotion without a cause. Is it any wonder so many unaware sensitives are on anti-depressants these days?

Awareness is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the world begins to make sense in a way it never did before. On the other hand, once you start down that slippery road toward discovery, there is no turning back. And believing in things you once turned your nose up at--even embracing them!--is a really powerful lesson about humility. One's ego is very good at keeping the awareness at bay.

Oh, but finding an explanation to so many of life's uncertainties and questions is powerful, too. And that, my lovelies, is what kept me searching, and keeps me searching still.

What, you mean I still don't have the answers to all that I'd been searching for? ::koff koff::  Um, no. I don't think we ever stop learning. Heck, just learning to believe in myself has been a struggle. Coming out and talking about what I've experienced, that also has been difficult. The more I talk about it, though, the easier it gets ... and here's something nifty I've discovered along the way: Talking about something I am striving to understand makes me think about it in new ways that magically {majickally!} gels my understanding in a way that might have taken me longer if I'd stayed in my head, pondering, pondering. And maybe, just maybe, talking about such things will help someone else who is also struggling for understanding.

Not that this blogging partnership is meant to be all musing and ruminating over mysterious topics, LOL. But we do want to talk about our lives and how we deal with certain details some might view as something other than normal, when really it is as everyday normal as flipping the egg over in the skillet while waiting for the toaster to pop up in the morning.

So, what are my confessions?

I don't see ghosts often--though I have here and there. Mostly I feel them, I feel their energy. A presence. And, it has to be pretty overt for it to get through my busy thoughts. Contrary to what you might think, I don't spend my every waking moment thinking about the Otherworld. :p When I have seen them, I have only seen them as they were in life, and it was a faint impression, with color. I have also seen animal spirits that were like a wisp of smoke swirling around my feet. And shadows.

I am not what I would call psychic. I do not have the traditional visions, and I have only rarely tapped into something at will  . . . and when I have, I have not been confident in the results. It is much easier for me to just go with the flow of impressions that comes to me willingly. Randomly, even. But, I think I'm meant to stretch myself, so I should probably work at changing that.

I have many Guides, but one that serves as my main man, always on the front lines with me. And he has called me dense more than once. I'm hoping he meant that lovingly. ;>

I do have a crystal ball. It looks beautiful, shining in the sun, but I don't use it for anything else.

Much of my spirit contact has been in dream form {hence, the initial difficulty in believing in myself}. Receiving validation for dream details for the first time was one of the most powerful and exciting things I've experienced. Fist-pumping, even.

I will join Kristy on the crying couch. Happy, sad, whatever. It's all the same. Strong emotions = powerful energy, and for me one easy release of that is tears.

My family never knew the truth about my experiences, until recently. I do try to spare them most of the details. LOL.

I would love to be able to see auras in full color, but alas, currently all I can see is the first layer, the energy body, that surrounds us all. I still hold out great hopes to be able to change that.

Negative energy in people gives me terrible migraines and I avoid it like the plague. Negative energy in places gives me the heebie-jeebies, big time, and all I can think of is putting as much distance between myself and the source as quickly as possible.

I truly believe that love in all its forms and learning to let go of the limitations we put upon ourselves is the reason we are here.

And with that, my lovelies, I will close for now.

Love to all,


Mad {madly!}