Let It Go

“He who angers you conquers you.”

Elizabeth Kenny

One of the characteristics of an Empath is being overly sensitive. That over sensitivity encompasses so many emotions – happiness, joy, sadness, anger, etc. As I age (gracefully, might I add), I have realized that I don’t hold on to the grudges and anger, but I hold on to the sadness. I so want everybody to like me and I have come to realize that not everybody will (boo!). I also have realized just how damaging it can be to hold on to the sorrow of something that you cannot change and that even though it is sadness, it is still a cousin of anger and it effects your whole being; body, mind and spirit. My Spirit Guides happen to have a wonderful sense of humor and they especially hate when I am sad. It’s as if I can hear the flutter of activity in the heavens as my three main Guides attempt to conjure a plan to get me out of the funk as quick as possible. And this go around was no different. As I was driving into my office I replayed scenarios in my head of “what did I do wrong?” to “what could I have done better” to “what’s wrong with me?” when my phone rang. Normally when I am in a funk the last thing that I want to do is answer the phone (yep, I am one of those), but I glanced down at the number and smiled. It was a call from someone that I needed to make an important business decision with and I had been fussing the last couple months asking for a sign on what to do and when to do it (yeah, I know a bit cryptic, but right now that is all ya get). My sign came during a sad day. My scenarios disappeared with my Guides telling me to stop owning other people’s issues and to move forward. To move on. There’s a quote that says “I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.” And to that I say AMEN!

Believe,

Kristy

Empaths Amongst Us

There is so much to this topic that I thought it was important to get a view from each of us.


My first truly notable experience as an empath {as opposed to just internalizing things with no recognition of what I was doing} came when I was sixteen years old. I was a member of my high school pompom squad, and believe me when I say, sixteen to eighteen year old girls can be Cut. Throat. The leader of the squad, shall we say a "high maintenance" and very popular {although goodness knows why} girl, began to nitpick another, younger member for kicking too high. The poor girl was a dancer and flexible to the max, she was just doing what came naturally to her. Two by two, the rest of the squad began to chime in against this poor, unsuspecting girl, and while at first she tried to defend herself, soon she recognized the futility of defense and just closed her mouth, her eyes growing wider and shinier. I was not one to speak up -- despite having the previously unrealized audacity to try out for the team, I was a major introvert -- but the longer this went on, the more uncomfortable I became. I was growing antsier by the minute. And before I knew it, I began to feel for her. Inside of myself. Like a deer being hunted by wild dogs, trying desperately to stay out of the way of the snapping teeth. Heart pounding, breath coming faster and faster. The next thing I knew, I was hyperventilating, I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't draw any in. Which, thankfully enough, drew enough attention that it stopped the attack on the other girl. Another girl pulled me away and made me walk with her down the hall. Oddly enough, shortly after leaving the others behind, I began to feel better.

At the time, I had never heard of empaths or empathery {my preferred term, and I likes it! :p }. I chalked it up to an anxiety attack {something I had had zero previous experience with} and went on with life, albeit with one more thing to make me feel "different."

By the time I did hear the term and began to think, "Hm, this kinda sorta sounds like me . . . but that can't be . . .", it was the late '90s and I had was deep in the throes of busy momhood, working full time, writing, raising 3-and-soon-to-be-4 boys. I scarcely had a moment to breathe, let alone investigate further. But my Guides decided enough was enough. The time had come to raise my awareness. And so I began to experience things more and more often, whereas before it had been random occurrences, oddities here and there. Enough that I could no longer chalk it up to coincidence or brush it off as imagination as easily as I could before.

And then someone whom I considered "in the know" about matters metaphysical, a cool chick I looked up to for many reasons, happened to mention in passing that empaths were the rarest of all the sensitives/intuitives in the world . . . and instantly my inner doubt struck up a duet with my low self-confidence. I couldn't be an empath, then. I wasn't special. I just knew I wasn't psychic, because I didn't have visions. Maybe I was just imagining things . . . and that made me feel even worse. I didn't want to be imagining things, putting on airs to make myself feel better! What the heck was wrong with me?

Lesson Number One: You alone know the details of your experience. Don't let anyone else create your reality for you. You are a creator. Step up to the plate and take responsibility for your life!

Even though my first instinct was to shove all of my experiences back into the darkest closet at the back of my mind and go on with life, making careful attempts to be as normal as possible . . . somehow I didn't. And even better, I allowed myself to study further, which allowed me to go on to discover even more about myself.

But it wasn't until I met Kristy and began tentatively comparing notes that I discovered that my dreams, as I had only recently allowed myself to consider might possibly be . . . gulp . . . spiritual contact, were definitely in fact . . . spiritual contact, and not just a personal weirdness.

Confidence, as you might have suspected, has been a major obstacle for me to overcome. I can laugh at that now, but I really have struggled with it over the years.

I've learned so much more in the last six years than I was able to hesitantly come to accept in all of the previous eight. Little by little, I am coming into my own. Slower than I would prefer, but I can be patient when I have to. The last two years took a toll on me, but I am beginning to come back into my own, mentally yes, but even more important to me, spiritually, and I am so thankful for that. Having come this far, I don't feel like myself when I am not dreaming and feeling. I have also discovered there is more to what I do than I considered before, which I have no doubt I'll be exploring soon.

Because now's the time, dearhearts. Now's the time for all sensitives, no matter what their level of experience, to step up to the plate and learn more about themselves, to see the world with new eyes. Don't you feel it? The call? The sense that something big is coming up? Something important? We all are.

Jen and Kristy have both talked about shielding, but just as important for any sensitive but especially for those with empathic tendencies is to learn how to release energy.

One thing that is so, so important is to be very aware of yourself and to learn how to release as you go through your day so that it doesn't build up, because it really is exhausting and can manifest into other physical symptoms, just like Kristy describes. Emotional tension is a big clue that you are holding on to too much. Simple things that help you to let go rather than hold on to emotional energy include anything that make you smile, laugh, breathe deeply, be at peace,feel love, etc. All the good stuff. Your aim is to let go of the negative and to feel your spirits lift.

Learn how to be physical again! So many of us, in our busy lives, forget how good we feel when we actually get out there and move! Walking every day in the great outdoors is so beneficial, and not just for burning off the day's indulgences. But even just going outside and sitting on your patio, feeling the sun pour down on you, the wind in the air, this will do so much. Any time I start to feel the tension build up, I step outside.

Remove toxic people from your routine as much as possible. You won't be able to fix them. They have a journey of self-discovery they need to make as well.

Hug someone! But make sure you're not transferring your stress. A mutual hug, deeply felt, also helps one ground.

Conjure an image in your mind's eye of someone you love. FEEL IT. Your love for them.

Be love, be light, in as many ways as possible. By paying attention to this, you will build it into your world around you. And with more and more of us consciously doing that, the larger world starts to change for the better, a piece at a time.

Love to all,


Mad {madly!}

P.S. No longer are empaths the rarest of all the sensitives/intuitives out there! The numbers are growing by leaps and bounds. I find that interesting . . . and fitting. This world needs a lot more love, don't you think?

Empath

I was miserable working undercover at the metaphysical center. The drama and cattiness was just too much and I took a leave of absence from doing reading sessions when I was granted a promotion at my real job. I had so much on my plate. My mom had passed away and I missed her like mad and I was adjusting to being a wife again and this time blending a family and petrified of messing up another marriage. I plopped in my seat at 8:00 a.m. to start my day. Sitting in my brand new office with my brand new furniture and brand new computer, I closed my eyes and tried to wish away the tears. I worked with strong people and I knew that tears wouldn't be acceptable. I begged my guides for an answer. I had accepted a promotion in my 'real' job in hopes that it would make me happy, but it was doing the opposite; I was miserable. Before I could feel sorry for myself anymore, my phone rang and I was off and working. The clock read 4:00 p.m. when I clutched my hand to my chest. It was an ache that ran from my chest down to my toes. I had never felt anything like it. I asked my guides if I was having a heart attack and received the all clear, but I knew something was wrong. As if on cue my boss walked by and noticed that I was turning a nice shade of khaki green and asked if I wanted an ambulance. Although the signs were right there denoting something serious, I told her I would just go to my doctor and I grabbed my purse and without an appointment I drove across the street to see what in the world was going on with me. That was the last day I would ever step foot in that office again. It has been five years ago now.

My anxiety and panic over being miserable had manifested illness within me. The diagnosis ranged from mononucleosis to chronic fatigue and finally to fibromyalgia. Here I was teaching my clients to take care of themselves and I was doing just the opposite. I panicked going back to work and I panicked not going back to work - what was I going to do? Every time I thought I was getting well enough to return to my position, I got ill again. It wasn't until I sat for over five hours in my doctor's office, my husband curled up next to me on the exam table, holding me as I sobbed when the doctor asked me what I thought I could do to get well. The blood tests were there in black and white, evidence which showed that I was sick- it wasn't all in my head - but the disability company refused to pay me, stating that it was anxiety and nothing more and work wanted an answer. I finally looked up at him and my husband and said, "I think the prescription is resignation". They both nodded in agreement. It was like a weight had fallen off my shoulder as soon as I made the announcement. Explaining to my family and then going in and giving my formal resignation was a whole other story. I grew up in a household where you pack a brown bag lunch and work for 8.5 hours and come home. Nothing less and nothing more. But I knew that I had a calling and that I couldn't do it being stuck in an office that I hated, a job that wasn't a good fit and all I was doing was causing resistance, which was the reason behind my illnesses. It was a tug of war with my destiny.

Being an Empath has probably been the gift that I consider the most exhausting and exhilarating and the most misunderstood too. The definition of being an empath means you are always “on” while you process other people’s feelings and energy, and often ignore your own.

Are you an Empath?

· Have you ever been told you were too sensitive or that you cry too much? Oh yep, I do!

· Do you attract animals? I am Dr. Doolittle and have everything from squirrels to bees to fox come up to me and wonder why I am startled or scared.

· Do kids come up to you and talk? All the time. I sometimes am worried that this will one day get me into trouble.

· Do babies catch your eye and smile, or can you calm them with a look? All the time!

· Do strangers come up to you in the store and start talking to you about their life? My husband has actually had to drag me away from strangers so that we could get to an appointment.

· Does weather affect your mood? Happy on sunny days, sad on rainy ones (or the opposite)?

· Have you noticed that the moon cycles affect your mood?

· Are you always wanting to help? Many Empaths end up going into the medical field.

· Do you own other people’s problems when you know that you cannot do anything about it and they need to take care of it themselves?

· Do you feel other’s pain (emotional or physical)? I have a hard time going to a hospital because I can actually feel the cancer, the heart condition, the broken leg, etc.

· Are you attracted to music, color and the arts?

· I could go on and on, but these are just some of the so-called Empath symptoms. And this gift (yes, it is a gift) can really take its toll on your mind, body and spirit.

Some things that can help:

1. Use positive affirmations.

2. Take a bath with sea salts, Epsom salts, and/or therapeutic-grade essential oils. Good combinations are rosemary, chamomile, sage and eucalyptus essential oils. Lavender also helps calm.

3. Don’t deny yourself that good cry.

4. Use protective crystals. In a later article I will talk more about this, but I find onyx and black tourmaline to be great and my newest favorite is Dragon’s Blood Jasper.

5. Get Moving – walking, yoga, martial arts, etc.

6. Garden. It helps to ground you.

7. Energy work or body work . Acupuncture, chiropractic, massage with quantum healing and/or Reiki, etc

8. Meditate (just taking deep breathes helps)

9. Journal

10. Say “No!” You are allowed to do this and it may be the best prescription yet!

Jennifer talked previously about shielding and this is also a great way to help protect. I do two different practices.

I call on Archangel Michael, my guides and Source (God/Universe, etc) and ask for the brightest and most healing white light (you can use any color) to pour on top of me. I visualize it coming from the ceiling and washing over me, encasing me in the highest protection. I then visualize in my mind’s eye a dial and I dim the outer core of the white light. Think of it this way – bugs are attracted to light, and the light that you emit, you may be protected, but you will still attract any and everything. So I use a dimmer so that only those of the white light and not those just wanting to suck the light from me, will find me.

If I am feeling stressed out or ‘dirty’ from the day’s energy, I visualize a cleansing rain of white light that washes down upon me and washes it away. I visualize a drain between my feet and it disappearing forever. If you have a hard time visualizing, you can actually go into the shower to do this exercise while the water from the shower pours over you.

It is important to note that there is no wrong or right way of embracing your gift, or your fresh start. By learning to trust yourself, you can speak to your true soul and grow more than you can ever imagine.

Believe,

Kristy

An Abnormally Normal Psychic Medium

Out of the Broom Closet . . .

So, here's the part where I tell you how awesomely strange and cool I am.

{Mad waits patiently for the laughter to subside...}

The plain truth is, I spent the first 35 years of my life mostly in the not-so-blissful state of Oblivion. Meaning, I spent my time being very, very normal. Doing terribly normal things, thinking terribly normal {well . . .-ish} thoughts, and denying as I had always been taught that ghosts and psychics and other such oddities were anything more than a wistful, wishful mind trying to pretend their realities away into something a little more interesting.

Denial is easy. More comforting, certainly. Believing came a little harder for me.

And yet . . . I was uneasy. The world I experienced didn't quite make sense to me, and the discrepancies kept nudging themselves into my awareness. I was always having to explain things away as "coincidence" or "just a dream" or "just being judgmental" when I instantly knew a person's overall aspect/tendency {Light or Dark, trustworthy or not trustworthy} upon meeting them, or always knew when a person was telling the truth or lying. It was just my imagination when I "just knew" a person's private motives behind what they were saying . . . or worse, had something terribly secret about them pop into my head as they were talking to me, something they were hiding. I always averted my attention from those thoughts, doing my best to pretend that it hadn't happened, that I didn't know. For the longest time, I convinced myself I was simply being judgmental, or nitpicky, or overly wary . . . but just as often the things I knew were positive things, pleasant things, and one fateful day I slowed down enough to realize that it wasn't all one-sided, so "judgmental" wasn't the right answer either. It was around that same time that, through casual conversations with a group of work cohorts, I also realized not everyone had the same kinds of dreams I had always had. It was something that never occurred to me.

That marked the beginning for me. The realization that I really was different -- just like I had feared so often when I was a teenager -- sparked a quest for answers as to why. Why did I experience these things? And that quest, in turn, set off a series of discoveries about other things I experienced that I had never considered weren't normal. The way I could see halos of light around people and animals and plants and trees. The way I could feel the energy of a place. The way I drew animals to me and knew what they were thinking, or the way children would single me out at a store and stare and smile. The way I could feel another person's sadness or turmoil or anger or joy, and not just sympathize with them, but actually feel it inside of myself as though it were my own emotion. Emotion without a cause. Is it any wonder so many unaware sensitives are on anti-depressants these days?

Awareness is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the world begins to make sense in a way it never did before. On the other hand, once you start down that slippery road toward discovery, there is no turning back. And believing in things you once turned your nose up at--even embracing them!--is a really powerful lesson about humility. One's ego is very good at keeping the awareness at bay.

Oh, but finding an explanation to so many of life's uncertainties and questions is powerful, too. And that, my lovelies, is what kept me searching, and keeps me searching still.

What, you mean I still don't have the answers to all that I'd been searching for? ::koff koff::  Um, no. I don't think we ever stop learning. Heck, just learning to believe in myself has been a struggle. Coming out and talking about what I've experienced, that also has been difficult. The more I talk about it, though, the easier it gets ... and here's something nifty I've discovered along the way: Talking about something I am striving to understand makes me think about it in new ways that magically {majickally!} gels my understanding in a way that might have taken me longer if I'd stayed in my head, pondering, pondering. And maybe, just maybe, talking about such things will help someone else who is also struggling for understanding.

Not that this blogging partnership is meant to be all musing and ruminating over mysterious topics, LOL. But we do want to talk about our lives and how we deal with certain details some might view as something other than normal, when really it is as everyday normal as flipping the egg over in the skillet while waiting for the toaster to pop up in the morning.

So, what are my confessions?

I don't see ghosts often--though I have here and there. Mostly I feel them, I feel their energy. A presence. And, it has to be pretty overt for it to get through my busy thoughts. Contrary to what you might think, I don't spend my every waking moment thinking about the Otherworld. :p When I have seen them, I have only seen them as they were in life, and it was a faint impression, with color. I have also seen animal spirits that were like a wisp of smoke swirling around my feet. And shadows.

I am not what I would call psychic. I do not have the traditional visions, and I have only rarely tapped into something at will  . . . and when I have, I have not been confident in the results. It is much easier for me to just go with the flow of impressions that comes to me willingly. Randomly, even. But, I think I'm meant to stretch myself, so I should probably work at changing that.

I have many Guides, but one that serves as my main man, always on the front lines with me. And he has called me dense more than once. I'm hoping he meant that lovingly. ;>

I do have a crystal ball. It looks beautiful, shining in the sun, but I don't use it for anything else.

Much of my spirit contact has been in dream form {hence, the initial difficulty in believing in myself}. Receiving validation for dream details for the first time was one of the most powerful and exciting things I've experienced. Fist-pumping, even.

I will join Kristy on the crying couch. Happy, sad, whatever. It's all the same. Strong emotions = powerful energy, and for me one easy release of that is tears.

My family never knew the truth about my experiences, until recently. I do try to spare them most of the details. LOL.

I would love to be able to see auras in full color, but alas, currently all I can see is the first layer, the energy body, that surrounds us all. I still hold out great hopes to be able to change that.

Negative energy in people gives me terrible migraines and I avoid it like the plague. Negative energy in places gives me the heebie-jeebies, big time, and all I can think of is putting as much distance between myself and the source as quickly as possible.

I truly believe that love in all its forms and learning to let go of the limitations we put upon ourselves is the reason we are here.

And with that, my lovelies, I will close for now.

Love to all,


Mad {madly!}