I was miserable working undercover at the metaphysical center. The drama and cattiness was just too much and I took a leave of absence from doing reading sessions when I was granted a promotion at my real job. I had so much on my plate. My mom had passed away and I missed her like mad and I was adjusting to being a wife again and this time blending a family and petrified of messing up another marriage. I plopped in my seat at 8:00 a.m. to start my day. Sitting in my brand new office with my brand new furniture and brand new computer, I closed my eyes and tried to wish away the tears. I worked with strong people and I knew that tears wouldn't be acceptable. I begged my guides for an answer. I had accepted a promotion in my 'real' job in hopes that it would make me happy, but it was doing the opposite; I was miserable. Before I could feel sorry for myself anymore, my phone rang and I was off and working. The clock read 4:00 p.m. when I clutched my hand to my chest. It was an ache that ran from my chest down to my toes. I had never felt anything like it. I asked my guides if I was having a heart attack and received the all clear, but I knew something was wrong. As if on cue my boss walked by and noticed that I was turning a nice shade of khaki green and asked if I wanted an ambulance. Although the signs were right there denoting something serious, I told her I would just go to my doctor and I grabbed my purse and without an appointment I drove across the street to see what in the world was going on with me. That was the last day I would ever step foot in that office again. It has been five years ago now.
My anxiety and panic over being miserable had manifested illness within me. The diagnosis ranged from mononucleosis to chronic fatigue and finally to fibromyalgia. Here I was teaching my clients to take care of themselves and I was doing just the opposite. I panicked going back to work and I panicked not going back to work - what was I going to do? Every time I thought I was getting well enough to return to my position, I got ill again. It wasn't until I sat for over five hours in my doctor's office, my husband curled up next to me on the exam table, holding me as I sobbed when the doctor asked me what I thought I could do to get well. The blood tests were there in black and white, evidence which showed that I was sick- it wasn't all in my head - but the disability company refused to pay me, stating that it was anxiety and nothing more and work wanted an answer. I finally looked up at him and my husband and said, "I think the prescription is resignation". They both nodded in agreement. It was like a weight had fallen off my shoulder as soon as I made the announcement. Explaining to my family and then going in and giving my formal resignation was a whole other story. I grew up in a household where you pack a brown bag lunch and work for 8.5 hours and come home. Nothing less and nothing more. But I knew that I had a calling and that I couldn't do it being stuck in an office that I hated, a job that wasn't a good fit and all I was doing was causing resistance, which was the reason behind my illnesses. It was a tug of war with my destiny.
Being an Empath has probably been the gift that I consider the most exhausting and exhilarating and the most misunderstood too. The definition of being an empath means you are always “on” while you process other people’s feelings and energy, and often ignore your own.
Are you an Empath?
· Have you ever been told you were too sensitive or that you cry too much? Oh yep, I do!
· Do you attract animals? I am Dr. Doolittle and have everything from squirrels to bees to fox come up to me and wonder why I am startled or scared.
· Do kids come up to you and talk? All the time. I sometimes am worried that this will one day get me into trouble.
· Do babies catch your eye and smile, or can you calm them with a look? All the time!
· Do strangers come up to you in the store and start talking to you about their life? My husband has actually had to drag me away from strangers so that we could get to an appointment.
· Does weather affect your mood? Happy on sunny days, sad on rainy ones (or the opposite)?
· Have you noticed that the moon cycles affect your mood?
· Are you always wanting to help? Many Empaths end up going into the medical field.
· Do you own other people’s problems when you know that you cannot do anything about it and they need to take care of it themselves?
· Do you feel other’s pain (emotional or physical)? I have a hard time going to a hospital because I can actually feel the cancer, the heart condition, the broken leg, etc.
· Are you attracted to music, color and the arts?
· I could go on and on, but these are just some of the so-called Empath symptoms. And this gift (yes, it is a gift) can really take its toll on your mind, body and spirit.
Some things that can help:
1. Use positive affirmations.
2. Take a bath with sea salts, Epsom salts, and/or therapeutic-grade essential oils. Good combinations are rosemary, chamomile, sage and eucalyptus essential oils. Lavender also helps calm.
3. Don’t deny yourself that good cry.
4. Use protective crystals. In a later article I will talk more about this, but I find onyx and black tourmaline to be great and my newest favorite is Dragon’s Blood Jasper.
5. Get Moving – walking, yoga, martial arts, etc.
6. Garden. It helps to ground you.
7. Energy work or body work . Acupuncture, chiropractic, massage with quantum healing and/or Reiki, etc
8. Meditate (just taking deep breathes helps)
10. Say “No!” You are allowed to do this and it may be the best prescription yet!
Jennifer talked previously about shielding and this is also a great way to help protect. I do two different practices.
I call on Archangel Michael, my guides and Source (God/Universe, etc) and ask for the brightest and most healing white light (you can use any color) to pour on top of me. I visualize it coming from the ceiling and washing over me, encasing me in the highest protection. I then visualize in my mind’s eye a dial and I dim the outer core of the white light. Think of it this way – bugs are attracted to light, and the light that you emit, you may be protected, but you will still attract any and everything. So I use a dimmer so that only those of the white light and not those just wanting to suck the light from me, will find me.
If I am feeling stressed out or ‘dirty’ from the day’s energy, I visualize a cleansing rain of white light that washes down upon me and washes it away. I visualize a drain between my feet and it disappearing forever. If you have a hard time visualizing, you can actually go into the shower to do this exercise while the water from the shower pours over you.
It is important to note that there is no wrong or right way of embracing your gift, or your fresh start. By learning to trust yourself, you can speak to your true soul and grow more than you can ever imagine.
An Abnormally Normal Psychic Medium