Love And Fear

1 John 4: 18-19  There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear because fear hath punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because He first loved us.

The picture above depicts perfectly my life over the last two and a half years, love trapped in fear.  My spiritual journey has been a long process that started back in 2004 when I met Madelyn.  But in August of 2011 I walked outside with my one year-old son in my arms and I looked up at the sky.  I felt lonelier than I ever had in my life.  I was weary, hopes crushed, dreams dashed upon the rocks of life.  "Please God, please change my life by the time I'm forty!" is what I implored of God as I raised my {I'm sure} red-rimmed eyes to the heavens.  I didn't think God was listening, not truly, but oh was I wrong.  Oh man was I wrong!

Immediately my life began to change.  "Change" is a gentle word to describe what happened to my life.  More like it spun off into a tail spin that has only recently calmed.  My story will take several blog posts, and I plan to share it with you because it is my soul quest to do so.  I have learned so so much since then, much of it unconventional and hard to accept and believe.  I've been pushed and prodded to open my heart and knock down my walls so I could believe; it is only when I believe that I can teach what I've learned, and I am sure now, at forty years old, it is time for me to share my lessons.

Sharing this process I've experienced won't be easy.  I've dealt with fear so deep and personal it can't really be expressed in words but I will try.  I will have to touch on my past which is a sensitive subject for me.  Some dragons need to be kept sleeping, some secrets do not need to be uncovered.  But I do have a history, and it is mine.  I lived it, and I have a truth that is all my own.  I deserve to share my truth.  There is no point in my recounting sordid experiences to shock or induce pity; pity is the last thing I desire.  But I know there are others out there who have walked the same path as me, and those people are struggling like I have and I want them to know there is light in the darkness even if it seems so dim to be hardly evident.  But it is there.  Believe me the light is there, and God is the one holding the lantern.  It is not my goal to recount incidents of my life that will hurt or harm the living.  I am here only to love and teach, not cause humiliation or pain. At the same time my youth was difficult and parts of it will have to be discussed.  Honestly the "whats" about my past are not important; the "whys" are where the testimony is held.  It is tiring to hear someone detail "war stories" of a bleak childhood in a "My story is worse than yours" attitude.  There is harm is regurgitating old painful experiences because the mind becomes convinced the situations have happened over again; there is danger in the stereotypical image of a patient stretched out on a couch hearing the words, "So tell me about your childhood."  There is also such a thing as shattering privacy.  We will be doing none of that here.

What I am here to say is I believe in soul, strongly in soul.  I believe our journeys are chosen before we come to earth and *we* choose them ourselves.  I believe in reincarnation.  I also believe in heaven but my belief is much different than what is taught in church.  I have experienced meeting people who have helped save my life with a few kind words or an embrace... and I know those people are soul mates.  I believe I have a large soul family, and I know soul speaks to me always, and through many people.  Lessons are around every corner.  As it pertains to my past I feel I chose to enter into a life where lessons were to be taught at every angle.  I was to learn how to endure and triumph over pain and fear, and others around me had to learn the same.  Life is one big lesson, and the strong learn from the lessons and go on to teach others so they too can survive and heal.  

My childhood was not an easy one.  There was a lot of love but also a decent amount of fear.  The term "Walking on eggshells" is a perfect way to describe how I felt at home.  I loved and still love my parents very much.  Wounded hearts go on to wound because they know no different.  Generational abuse is very real; pain is passed down from generation to generation until somewhere in there the brakes are thrown.  I am thankful to God that the pain stops at our generation, and that is only due to His grace.  My parents are very strong people who have fought their own personal demons, and boy how did they fight.  Kudos to them because when many couples would have thrown in the towel, broken up, become more dysfunctional and sunk down into the gallows of despair they did the opposite.  They worked hard together to heal and recover from their struggles and they did this together.  My parents have been married for over forty years. They are loving parents and grandparents and I feel very blessed to have them in my life.             

My experiences have shown me that life is a process, and it's a complicated experience.  I feel as a soul I chose to come to earth to learn how to become a strong fearless woman.  I am fairly sure my lessons in this lifetime concern FEAR, DOUBT and BELIEF.  I have no problem at all loving people.  I am extremely forgiving, empathetic and loving.  I couldn't hold resentment in a bucket if I tried.  I am far from perfect and I get angry but I'm over in soon, and the older I get the less I anger.  But fear has been my number one nemesis in this life, and writing this blog is a step in the process of healing completely from my fears.

I have been nervous to speak my truth.  Afraid to put my "real self" out here.  The self who has direct communication with soul and experiences some really, er, different stuff.  I have strong spiritual guidance that I channel, and even now I am surprised albeit blessed by how easily I channel Spirit.  I really don't know what else to call "it."  Some say spirit guides.  Angels.  Ascended Masters.  Jesus.  God.  Dragons, fairies, earth, air or water spirits and even animals.  I've had spirit guides in my life, and angels.  But now I call my guidance Spirit and think of it as a divine energy that guides me, and often I am pretty sure I am guided by my soul.  I, me as a human, can be very dense.  Thick as a brick wall.  Luckily God blesses me with a constant connection to Spirit so I can hear the workings of my soul.  Without my spiritual GPS system I may have been lost ages ago... but despite my deep layers of fear and doubt God has never let me go.

I am writing this blog now, rambling right this moment, to describe my experiences with God.  I want to tell people who God is to me, "The Divine."  I have learned and been shown first hand how the divine guides us.  Strongly is the perfect word to describe how the divine guides us.  The divine has workings in our lives at all moments but often ego and fear overshadow the workings of Spirit.  I use God, Spirit and Soul interchangeably because I feel they are all part of a whole Universal Creation Energy, an energy we are all part of.  God is me and you.  We are God.  God is an energy and that is Love.  God is love.  Fear is separation from God.  

I had a small but huge eye-opening experience happen to me a few nights ago.  Battling my fears has taken a good part of two and a half years, and at times I was not sure I would survive.  The Dark Night of The Soul is true and can be an emotional pain worse than anything imaginable.  I have found myself on my knees keening, an unholy animalistic sound coming from me as I'm rendered totally defenseless.  Sounds have come from me that I don't even recognize as human as I've prayed to God to not let me go through my pain and darkness- it's a purging process.  Spiritual and very real although many people do not understand it. This process has hit me very hard these last two months.  There was a catalyst to this which I feel is some of my final hardcore purging of my major fears.  Throughout this process I've learned that while I know, and I've been shown, I still did not BELIEVE in God's grace.  I did not have faith in Him.  I could not surrender my life to the divine no matter how many signs or messages I was given.  

Christmas was hard for me.  I am missing someone very much, and the missing has been a part of my healing process {a story for another post.}  This missing has brought out every one of my deepest fears concerning abandonment and not being loveable, about being forgettable and easily disposed of.  Soul has taught me some very interesting, deep and hard to accept truths about spiritual healing.  Much of the information I have been given has illicited further doubt and fear in me because I just could not belive.  Refused.  Signs abound, really strong signs like radio stations switching to play a poignant song with a specific message for me.  I've received reminder messages on my iPhone that were honest to God put there by the divine.  Computer issues, songs, dreams, words other people speak to me that I know are coming straight from soul telling me TO BELIEVE.  To give up fear and just believe.  But I refused, and I'll tell ya I learned a lot about what happens when we cling to fear, and it ain't fun.  Spirit can and will make our fears come true so we can battle them, and watch out when that happens because it can feel like life as you know it is coming to an end.  The missing I speak of was created due to my strong old fears about myself; I literally very quietly pushed someone away from me due to fear- and it was all soul-inspired.  Soul orchestrated.  As it is explained to me, and will be explained deeper in a future post, burdens can be soul-orchestrated.  So can suffering.  It's like this- you know those sayings like, "What you think about most you attract to you?"  Yeah well heed those words because they are truer than true.  If you want something bad enough, and if that is pain and fear, then soul WILL give those things to you so you can feel the pain so strongly that you choose to let go.

Been there.  Done that.  Got the t-shirt.  It is very very true.  Spirit wants us to soar and dream and love.  But when people like me, people who fear belief like it's the hairy drooling monster in the closet, insist on clinging to fear even when I longed for love- I got fear.  I got love too.  Oh did I get love!  But fear followed, and it sucked.  Badly.

A few nights ago I was cuddling with my little dream come true, my now four year-old son PJ.  My heart had been broken to bits and I've been struggling with fear, pain and disbelief.  I forgot to trust God.  I've never fully trusted God, goes back to my childhood and how I did not feel I could trust those who were supposed to love and take care of me- very hard association to break.  I do have strong contact with Spirit, and I try to listen but when it comes to my own personal hopes and dreams I freak out.  I don't trust.  I run from faith, hope and love as it pertains to me.  Mixed in lately with my messages is the word "jingle."  I had no idea why.  Jingle.  Hm.  I already know when I get messages I don't completely understand to simply wait and it will be made clear to me.

My son and I curled up on the couch and I said, "Hey buddy how about watching The Polar Express?"  As the movie began I grew increasingly uncomfortable as I realized I was lead to watch that particular movie that night.  The boy in the movie is a total skeptic.  A non-believer, and oh he wants to believe so badly!  he longs to believe.  He almost does not get on the train but his soul spoke to him at the last minute and he hopped on for the ride.  At one point he's told, "You're a doubter!  You're a doubter!  You don't believe!"  I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Spirit was talking to me as I watched this doubtful little boy ache for belief.  It was soon time to put my little man to bed so I watched the remainder of the movie by myself.

And I sobbed.  Jingle.  The boy could not hear sleigh bells ring because of his doubt.  Only at the end of the movie once he finally sees Santa can he hear the bells jingle.  He asks Santa for a bell as his gift, and then he loses it.  He finds it under the tree Christmas morning.  At the end of the movie he says that over the years all the adults lose the ability to hear the jingle of the bell, all adults except for him because he always believed.

After I watched this movie I lay in bed deeply praying.  Soul has been speaking to me about my faith lately, rather my lack of faith.  I have been hurting and I am almost in too much pain to seek refuge in God.  I do not trust.  I am afraid of disappointment.  I have a severe lack of hope.  So I spoke to God.  I cried out to him actually, begged him.  I said, "I do believe.  I do."  "I believe."  I asked for a sign that what Spirit has been teaching me could possibly be true.  I asked for proof, just like the bell the little boy received.

As I said "I believe" I felt a strong energy behind my eyes.  There was a twitching, lights behind my eyelids.  In the morning I thought maybe I had been dreaming {doubter here!}  I woke and thought about the lights behind my eyes.  And as I started my morning I found my sign.  A HUGE clear glaring sign that cannot be explained away as coincidence or happenstance or accident.  I received an email from this person I've been missing, and this is after over a month of silence- a silence Spirit tells me is not an accident.  It is a silence to show me a process of healing fear.  I know it sounds very unbelievable but Spirit can and will use very close soul connections as "channels" to teach us lessons.  God uses us as instruments of His peace and healing, and sometimes for some of us stubborn ones the healing comes from being hit with huge doses of pain and fear until we finally cave and face off those fears, overcoming them.  We can make change happen, and it may be change we do not like at all if it is inspired by fear.  Soul will use fear to teach us, and in very unconventional ways.  But that morning I received my jingle bell.  

I asked God to please give me hope.  To please please please SHOW ME.  Give me something to believe in.  Ensure I can trust and hope and have faith in this strange process I've been going through, and the response was undeniable.  Not only was I happy to hear from this person- it was way way more than the contact.  It was the fact that I said, "I believe" and was given something to believe in.  The message came through not long after I feel asleep, and the tone and content showed me what I needed to know.  God blessed me with proof so I can, in fact, surrender all of my fears to Him.  And I am.

God gave me my "jingle."  

And I am starting here because I know that there are many others out there who feel alone even when they know they are not.  There is a big difference between knowing and believing.  Sometimes we need a boost.  A unmistakable sign or message.  It is all about belief, intention, trust, hope and love.  Spirit wants us to believe and dream.  I have much more to share, and hopefully it will help someone out there find light in the darkness.  

I can't begin to express to you how important it is to hold on to your dreams and not ruin them with fear.  Fear is dark and insidious and will convince you of anything.  It inspires paranoia.  Fear very nearly took over my life, trying to separate me from God, from Love, but He kept me close and pushed me to believe.

Love only.  No fear.

~Jennifer 

          

Love Versus Attachment

Love is a profoundly deep feeling of intense affection for someone or something. It is high and light and wonderfully of God; love truly does make the world go 'round.  Love is the electricity that illuminates the universe. Love inspires us to write and sing and dance and create and *squeeeee* when we see the perfection of a newborn baby or when we catch a glimpse of our favorite person or hear a snippet of a beloved song.  Love is bliss.  Love is Rapture. There should be no pain in love. Or anxiety. And absolutely no fear. Sounds like a difficult state to achieve doesn't it? Impossible even.  Well it isn't impossible to experience love with no fear or attachment although it takes some intense inner work and will always be a journey to reach a goal instead of a ending up at the destination. Many people experience attachment to others instead of love for them. We have ALL been there because we are human.  When you feel "love" for another person that also involves low-energy emotions like: fear, anxiety, depression, anger, sadness or suffering this is not a high-energy love. It is attachment.

According to psychologist Mary Ainsworth, "Attachment is not just a connection between two people; it is a bond that involves a desire for regular contact with that person and the experience of distress during separation from that person." Now this is fine and dandy between an infant and her mother but attachment is not healthy in a romantic relationship {the word "distress" here should stick out to you like a turd in a punchbowl.}  A barnacle attaches to the bottom of a ship and later has to be violently scraped off by the crew. Lamprey eels attach to the flesh of other fish to suck their blood- that is "attachment." Not love.

So think about it... you see attachment all the time, all around you in real life and in the media.  Rarely is "true love," unconditional love, portrayed correctly in the media.  Love songs are mostly about sick attachment, and I apologize if I am raining on your romantic parade {I now feel like posting a link to "Singing in The Rain!} Bruno Mars' song "Grenade?"  Reeks of attachment.  He gave her all he had and she decided she no longer wanted him in her life but he'd still catch a grenade for her or take a bullet straight through his brain for her, endure a ton of pain for her.  That is not love- it is sickness.  

A couple "falls in love" and after the initial honeymoon phase of spending every imaginable moment together being connected at the hip {and other places maybe heh heh heh} is over then low-energy emotions being to creep in when one partner may want to ease back into having a little bit of personal space.  Jealousy, a total low-energy fear-based emotion, is a classic reaction when this happens.  Then Facebook stalking begins, the distrust grows.  Silly ego-based worries crop up that allow our self-esteem to plummet when it is imagined that our partner may be out looking for a new love instead of say maybe... being home practicing his guitar or maybe even swilling a few beers with his buddies while giving high fives and smack talking.  We are not experiencing "love" for that person when we desire to be with them every waking moment but instead attachment.  Do not let love turned attachment fall even deeper into an addiction for another person because then You. Are. Screwed.  Only pain will lie ahead for you as you suffer the eventual train wreck of breakup and withdraw, just like coming off the high of any other drug of choice. 

Love would be wanting to give your mate space to breathe and grow and be his own person.  Love would be loving *yourself* enough to desire the same thing for YOU.  Do not lose yourself in a relationship.  Be more aware than most.  Do not attach yourself to your "love" like a lamprey eel, sucking out the lifeblood in a fruitless effort to feel better about yourself through the constant attention of another.  That is distress and desperation, so so far from love.  You do not need someone else to fill you because you are complete on your own.

Love yourself first.  When you do you will not need to seek affirmation through the eyes of another. No, really.  I know it sounds cliche' but honest-to-God cross my heart it really must happen first that you love yourself before you can be content with another and he content with you.  And I do mean blissfully in love with yourself... look in the mirror and give yourself a "Come here often?" cheeky smile of adoration and admiration for all you've achieved in life, and all you've managed to overcome through mistakes, pain and suffering as well. Learn this loving yourself because I guarantee if you don't then The Universe, God, All That Is- will eventually force you to do so.  And at times it ain't a fun lesson.  Read up on learning to love yourself and connecting to your Higher Self.  Learn about your chakras and where they might be blocked and all that inner stuff no one ever really wants to take the time to do, like yoga and prayer and meditation, but that completely heals and awaken us.   

In the end when you have a better more concrete idea of what true unconditional love really is, a love where you can let someone go when you know it is in his or her or your higher good to do so even though letting go may be heartbreaking, you will know true emotional freedom.   Then the awful digging-into-your-flesh ties that bind you, attach you, to seeking affirmation of love outside of your own heart will forever be broken.  Always remember when a person you love has come and gone from your life it takes a strong individual to allow that love to forever reside in the heart while letting go of the attachment; this ability to let go is true unconditional love- the love that God has for us and desires us to have for others.

How strong are you?



   

Your Own Worst Enemy

I sat at the blue cafeteria table, staring into space. 

I heard the soft footsteps come up behind me, but I didn't feel the need to turn around.  It just didn't matter.

"I know you're upset. Can I explain?"

I choked back the tears.  I didn't want to give the very person who rejected me the satisfaction of showing me how upset I really was.  But my silence didn't seem to scare him off any and he sat across from me anyhow.

"It isn't that you aren't any good, Kristy.  That isn't why I didn't choose you for the group."

"Then why, Mr. V?  Why? You said yourself how well I did on my audition.  You said yourself how determined I was.  You said..."

"I know I did," he interrupted with a sigh.  Bowing his head for a moment, he grabbed my chin and made me look straight in his blue eyes.  "One day you will understand, but right now all you need to know is that this isn't yours.  It isn't because of your talent, or lack of talent, it is because you have to walk your own path.  And you aren't doing that by mulling in self pity."  My band and concert choir teacher dropped his hand, bit his lip and stood up to leave.

"If I am not walking my path, Mr. V, what path am I supposed to take?" I asked, tears flooding my eyes.  

"I am not sure, Kristy.  That is for you to discover."

Every time I watch the hit television show Glee, it brings back my memories of rejection, but most of all the conversation that I shared above.  I wanted to be a part of a small and elite choir.  I had done so well on my audition and was certain that the spot was mine, only to read the names on the list and see that my name wasn't included.  Instead of my name there was a name of another, someone who didn't belong in the group.  She couldn't sing.  And I don't say that to be cruel either..she couldn't sing!  I was devastated.   The instructor of the performing arts program was every-body's favorite and not just because he guaranteed an easy grade, but because he truly cared and went above and beyond.  It was rare that he had a temper, but when he did, you knew he meant it.  And the day he sat across from me, his temper flared just briefly, but not out of anger, but out of frustration. 

I never did get to the bottom of why I wasn't the chosen one, except perhaps that one decision could have changed the entire course of my life. 

How many times do we get caught up in the competitiveness of the situation?  Interview for a job that we really don't care to have, but when the job doesn't go to us we get angry?  Query a publisher that we know isn't right for the project and yet when the rejection comes, throw out some curse words?  Date someone who we don't really have a connection with, and yet when they call it quits eat ice cream for a week for being rejected? 

I used to look around at the other Psychic/Mediums/Paranormal Investigators/Authors and wonder why they got chosen for a television show and I didn't.  Or why they got picked up on a book deal and I was told 'no'.  I used to, until I realized that I wasn't walking my path.  They weren't the enemy, I was. 

Do you realize how much more you will get done by creating your own existence!!  By looking around you, you are wasting time in creating your path.  You don't have to be like everybody else.  In fact, you don't want to be like everybody else because that gets boring.  So stop making excuses.  Stop sabotaging yourself.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  And start.  Start what?  I will take a quote from my very wise teacher.  "I am not sure.  That is for you to discover."

Believe,

Kristy 

Merry Christmas

I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God bless Christmas!

~Charles Dickens

 

Merry Christmas from our home to yours! The presents have all been opened and the house is empty except for Chuck and I (and my dad) as the kids have gone off to their dad’s home.

 

I used to hate having a split family. At 8 a.m. every Christmas morning my ex husband would pick the kids up in order to have Christmas with his family. And at 8:01 a.m., I would be in a mess of tears. Now Connor is almost 16 and Micaela is 18, and although the sadness of not having them on Christmas Day still surrounds me, ever briefly, I am grateful for each moment that I have with them, and try to not focus on each moment that I don’t.

 

When I was single, I would make sure to have a huge stack of books, silly movies and magazines and spend the day on the couch, watching movies and reading. I would also have a box of Kleenex next to me and cry throughout the day and night, mourning all that I didn’t have. I would cry at all the pain that was caused me and the kids, and at the fairy tale of a life that I thought I was gifted, but felt as if it was ripped from me, without my permission and none of it in my control. I thought I was handling it properly. I thought wrong.

 

Last night, as we entertained family and friends, I thought back to those days that I thought were so completely miserable and saw the good within them. How could I treasure all that I have now without going through all of the pain?

 

So on this Christmas morning, I offer you a lesson that I learned from my own past. No matter your situation, you might not see the gifts around you, but take in the experience with open eyes (and some Kleenex next to you is okay too). It may seem like the worst Christmas or the saddest Christmas, but know that there are insights to be gained within them. And for those who are having the most perfect Christmas – send those higher thoughts and prayers to those who might be sad, because even your littlest boost of energy may help someone get through this holiday.

 

From our home to yours – the MERRIEST of Holidays!

 

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
- Oren Arnold

 

Love, Laughter and Miracles,

Kristy Robinett

I Predict...

This time each year I receive calls and emails from television and radio stations asking for my New Year predictions. In previous years, I have reluctantly done them. I say reluctantly because I feel as if the predictions they are looking for are drama filled like - “I see several storms in this part of the country/state and will kill this many people.”

• Eight months ago, on a syndicated radio station, I was asked who would win the Presidential Race - I replied Obama would win. I was hung up on.
• Seven years ago on a radio station I predicted that in 2012-2013 that Unions would begin to dissolve and a new power would rise. I was laughed at.
• Last December I predicted an East Coast hurricane. I was told that the East Coast never gets stormed and I must be off my rocker.

Since the Connecticut shootings on Friday, I have received over twenty phone calls to do prediction shows or to offer my psychic predictions on the tragedy. I have said thanks, but no thanks, and explained that as we emerge into 2013, I want to focus on the positive road and not the tragic. On Facebook I witnessed a person trying to gather people to travel to the school in Connecticut in order to do a paranormal investigation, and I reminded him of what Emerson wrote, “The meaning of good and bad, of better and worse, is simply helping or hurting.”  I was appalled (and still am). There is a place, and a time to do paranormal investigations, and then there is common sense and compassion when that time comes. Nobody likes or wants an ‘ambulance chaser’. I sort of feel the same way about making worldly predictions. Mass predictions don’t help prepare, they only feed into the fear hysteria.  Emerson also said, “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year”.  I don’t need the ‘I told you so’ when a prediction comes to fruition, instead I would rather write the story of how I want to see things go, and make every attempt to open those doors. I would rather not put the fears out there. I want to visualize that the world is a good place, not rip it to shreds.

 

One of the father’s who lost his six year old little girl in Friday’s tragedy asked that we "not turn <this event> into something that defines us, but something that inspires us to be better, to be more compassionate and more humble people." And if someone who is in the midst of the devastation can ask for peace, I think we can too. We don’t have to turn this into a Civil War where society fights if guns kill or killers kill, or blame a political party. On Friday, I actually had to turn the television off and spend time with the family, hugging them, and doing what Mr. Parker said – try to become inspired instead of getting angry, because much like with 9-11, it was easy to get overwhelmed into the sadness and the despair of not being able to do anything to help take the ache away. We cannot surrender to hate and fear, however. We have to persevere. We have to grow. We have to shine.

 

As December 21^st approaches, according to those who subscribe to the ascension belief, they would say that this is the end of the world--not the human race--but the end as we know it. We are being tested. Are we passing or failing? With the light, there is dark, but the light must shine brighter or else we all become consumed within the abyss. And so as December 21st nears, more of these dark souls will come forward and try to take as many light souls with them. Don’t let anybody or any situation take your sparkle or shine away.

 

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. 

 ~Robert Ingersoll

 

So instead of offering predictions, as we prepare for the New Year, I ask instead that you shine bright, my friends, shine bright.

 

Love,

Kristy Robinett

www.kristyrobinett.com

Breaching The Gap of Life

 

As always my guides came through for me about a week or so ago with an amazingly beautiful dream.  I hate to admit it but due to some personal struggles I've fallen away from that which brings me joy.  Those little things in my life that often supplement my happiness have fallen into a void which is typical for me when I am faced with a large life situation.  I can only handle, deal with, the task at hand so I compartmentalize the rest, filing it away for a later date.  This includes my active spirit contact meaning that when I attempt to contact Spirit I put up blocks that are not conducive for letting the messages through!  But they never ever let me down {and they won't you either, I can attest to this fact!}  At those times when I cannot achieve contact through my pendulum work or meditation I turn to them by asking for a dream.  

Before I explain the dream let me share that I'm going through a personal struggle, a situation that is reaching culmination.  It's been a process that has challenged me to become a stronger woman and in the end I am so very thankful for what God has given me by way of Divine Process- everything happens for a reason.  I was told months and months ago that the struggles I was facing were all for a reason that would come together in the end with as little strife and heartache {on all ends} as possible- and Spirit did not lie.  But it's also sapped me of my energy and I'm at a point where I have to get back into the game; I've been sitting on the sidelines for far too long plotting my strategy.  One can only plan for so long before jumping in with both feet first.  This is where I am right now... except I'm dipping my toe in the water to test the temperature while I know Spirit is behind me ready to give me a rather large shove into the invigorating depths!  My spiritual eyes are veiled with a self-inflicted fog that is so very ready to feel the wind of activation blow away my old beliefs, thought processes and anything which makes me feel unnaturally vulnerable or scared- all that which holds me back from tapping into Spirit with a clear and open connection.  I know my ability is strong and I'm learning, being taught, how to let it shine.

So my dream... the above picture is a very good rendition of what I saw in the message I was given {I added the bright coloring and sunglow to a very pretty picture I found online at devinatart.com.}  It was a simple dream but so utterly breathtakingly beautiful, and as is their way with me it included an animal.  They use animals as symbols for me, and I love it!  I was in a boat {I'll assume because it was as if I was looking through my eyes and I wasn't aware of why or how I was in the water- I just was} on the ocean, way out in the middle of the water as sunset.  The golden apricot glow of the sweet light of sunset was strong and glorious and I could feel its heat on my face, warming me to the bone.  I was gazing out over the water when suddenly a huge whale breached, jumping vertically straight up into the air before me... it was magnificent and something I've always wanted to experience but haven't yet- except in my dreams as a gift from my guides.  The whale was so close that I could feel the spray from the waves it created on my face, and it played out before me in a melted butter-smooth slow motion.  One huge aspect of the dream was color- the colors were exceptionally bright and stunning; as the whale leaped from the water the light of the setting sun reflected off the waves it was bathed in creating a magical effect, like the northern lights were dancing in the waves.  Another large part was the whale song!  Oh it was soooo moving!  I sat there stunned and thankful for being shown such a majestic gift.  It was a short dream but moving.  I woke up feeling revived, invigorated, excited and very thankful because I had asked for a message and received one.  Light, color, sound, "breaching," water {as most of my dreams are of the water,} and a truly ginormous either humpback or blue whale {of the baleen category} were the main concepts I knew to concentrate on as I worked to figure out the message- and boy do they know how I love working out the meaning behind their symbolism, makes me feel like a spiritual Sherlock Holmes figuring out an unfolding mystery.

As you might suppose I have been avoiding my writing {including the blog, so sorry!} my photography and my bead and jewelry making.  I have taken photos of my son to file for later editing but damn my inspiration went bye bye and I dislike that empty lethargic feeling.  Creating is my magic and manifestation and Spirit knows this; I am most healthy when I am being a creator... of art and of life, my life.  The symbolism behind Whale is:  Creation, Power of song, Awakening inner depths and its cycle of power is year round.  Now if anyone recalls a past dream I wrote about here it concerned frogs and their "song."  Music, sound and singing are very important to me.  Always have been but has become increasingly more important for me here lately.

Whale is associated with the ocean as being a symbol of ancient creation.  Their song shows us how to create through song and sound, that sound is a creative force in life which is very true for me.  Music inspires me pretty much more than anything else.  Whenever I work I listen to music, and I have created some of my best pieces while listening to specific music that has allowed my creativity to flow freely- I can't really explain it but music for me is linked with the power of creation; the power of sound can be used to accelerate the manifestation of goals.  Whales are also symbols of concealment, going "inner," only to be reborn later, like Jonah and the whale.  He lived inside the belly of a whale and was later "reborn."  This is process very much near to my heart as my entire life is changing for me.  I feel as if I am being reborn, at nearly forty years old.  Whale shows us that it is okay to go inner, deep inside of ourselves.  The creativity that awakens with a rebirthing process can resurrect our lives if we let it.

And then there is the "breaching," busting through, coming forth- leaping out from under in a majestic display. I have a tendency to retreat when I am scared of the unknown and this is not always a good thing.  The whale in my dream was showing me it is time to explode from my hiding: hiding my skills and my abilities.  I haven't been very social either- and it is time for me to breach, not be afraid of the power of my own creativity even when it means creating new friendships {I have a tendency for shyness at times.}  Creation is not only meant to make "things."  It is a power that can transform life, create a future, if we utilize the manifestation-energy properly.  I have not been concentration on manifesting my future because I've largely been keeping up with the present.  Now that I have room to breathe, another key element with Whale due to the breathing hole, I have the peace necessary to embrace the gift of intention and manifestation by creating the life I envision for myself. 

I love the last line in the whale section of "Animal-Speak" which is my go-to book for figuring out the meaning behind my dreams.  "Creativity for the sake of creativity is not what whale teaches.  It awakens great depths of creative inspiration, but so it can add color and light to your outer life to make it more wondrous."  I have to sit back and shake my head, have a good chuckle, over how AWESOME my spiritual peeps are for offering me "a-ha" moments!  Light and Color!  Both huge elements in my dream.  Light because, well I could write a whole separate blog post on Light, but because it illuminates the darkness.  The warmth of the nurturing sun- life giving properties.  Also because I looOooOove sunlight as it pertains to photography.  I notices the nuances of sunlight or lack thereof.  Lately when I meditate the "sun" peeks through in my mind's eye.  The element of color is literally half my life.  My art is such an important part of who I am.  Working with beads, glass, inks, paint... all deal with the manipulation and beauty of color.  One of the first things I notice wherever I go is color, as necessary to me in life as breathing.  God very much wants me to live a colorful life as He does us all. 

The definition of breaching is:

a. An opening, a tear, or a rupture.

b. A gap or rift, especially in or as if in a solid structure such as a dike or fortification.

I was allowed time to go inner, retreat inside fortification, while working out portions of my life, time to heal.  I needed that, and at times still do.  I enjoy my quiet time.  But now Spirit is telling me it is far time to open that enclosure, burst forth from hiding, expose my skills and abilities just as the whale did in my dream, leaping out of the water.

I feel that many people are going through a similar process right now as world-wide more and more people are being shown their own spiritual abilities and gifts so we can all work together to make the earth a more loving place.  It is time to breach, to tear through that which holds you back.  I hope you are all able to access your inner Whale, your true personal majesty, and bring forth whatever it is you have locked inside of you that deserves to see, feel, experience the Light and this rebirth will enrich your own life and the lives of those around you. 

Love and Light to all~

Jennifer  

        

 

An Apocalyptic Nightmare

I knew that we were in trouble in May when I was doing a National Radio show and the host asked me what my prediction for the 2012 Presidential Election was.

“Well, there are two things I don’t like doing so much – giving predictions and talking politics,” I answered, laughing.

“C’mon, Kristy, give us a glimpse into your crystal ball.”

I sighed. I didn’t have a crystal ball and I really didn’t like talking politics. I never followed one party over the other and if ever there was anyone impartial, it was me. “I see Obama winning, but it will go to the 11^th hour and be a close one.”

Click.

“Hello?”  I was astounded that they actually hung up on me.  

The last few weeks of constant political talk had me feeling out of sorts. I stuck to my prediction even when my husband asked me yesterday afternoon when it showed Romney up.

"You still sure, Kristy?”

“Yup,” I answered, my mind elsewhere, trying to avoid political talk.

Even Facebook didn’t gift me a vacation from it. The fighting and name calling was like recess bullying. I just shut the internet down to write.

Oh, I was, and am, grateful for the ability to vote, and I do vote, but I have always believed that in the end our votes don’t really matter anyhow.  Call me a Conspiracy Theorist or paranoid, however I do have a strong feeling (a psychic feeling?) that many of the so-called democracy decisions aren’t voted with a democracy at all - Big Brother deciding, perhaps.

Maybe this is why I had the nightmarish night, since waking up at 2:20 a.m. (Eastern Time for those that analyze that type of thing), I have had a difficult time shaking the dream/premonition, one that I have had several times over the course of six years, but this gave way to the feeling as if it was all nearing. 

Because I am intending on writing a book on this, I am leaving out many details, but the premise is still there.

“They are coming,” I heard my husband whisper to me. “We need to hide.”

I could hear the shuffle of men outside, on the street.

“What are they searching for?” I asked, swallowing the fear.

“They aren’t searching,” he replied, “They are taking us all.”

Before we could find a place to go, the front door was kicked in and a group of men dressed in military uniforms grabbed each one of us, chaining us to others of the same sex. We were being segregated. Large military vehicles were outside the subdivision where we were caged in, like animals. Before getting into the back of the barred vehicle, I could see every street going through the exact same process.  Thousands and thousands of uniformed men, grabbing men, women and kids from their homes and imprisoning them. We knew that we couldn’t talk, or else something bad would happen to us, and the silence was deafening as we awaited our fate, and the fate of our loved ones. It was only about thirty minutes and the vehicles stopped, the back door opened and we were taken like a chain gang to a large University where we were registered and given an implant in our left hand  and left foot with our number.

I tried to shake myself from the nightmare, but couldn’t seem to get out of it. Is this perhaps a past life, I asked myself. Maybe I was in Germany in the concentration camp. But I was answered by the lady who was in the dream with me. Her black hair pasted to her tear stained face. “No, this is 2014. Here and now.”

The bile again crept into my throat as I realized that what we thought was freedom, was nothing of the kind, only a façade, much like a movie set.

Over the loud speaker we heard an announcement that we were going to meet on the lawn, but would be shot dead if we tried to escape. We were released from our chains, and led group by group to the meeting place, a football field sized lawn.  I could see my husband and kids, each in a section with like kinds. I couldn’t find my dad, and felt in my heart that he was gone, and thought that was probably best. He was in a better place, while we would have to deal with this nightmare. The speaker came out, dressed in a suit, and thanked us for being there. As if we had a choice. Someone in the crowd screamed, asked what was going on, and he was shot.

I woke up to the gunshot.

This dream/nightmare/premonition never ever changes, but it has gone further than it did last night, with explanations of what will happen in the next year plus and hints of experiments in the past, from weather (storms) to medical issues. They always show me intense storms for the next year along coastal regions, as if munching away at the people, their spirit and psyche and thinning out the population.  Fires in the west and intense tornadoes in the Midwest in the summer of 2013. Those that survive the storms, the financial fall-out, the medical plagues – well, they become prisoners. Only I never see what happens afterwards to me, or the rest of the prisoners. I only pray that this is a nightmare.

___________________________________________________________________________

Note that this in no way a political view of one party over the other, and had nothing to do with who was elected (or not elected).